An Answer to My Prayer?

18 January 2010

Is this the answer to my prayer? After pouring my heart out to God only last night. Is this how fast God is responding to my plea? The readings for the day are right on the mark. From Hebrews 6:10 - ‘For God is not unjust so as to overlook your work and the love you have demonstrated for his name by having served and continuing to serve the holy ones.’ And from Hebrews 6:11 – ‘….I will indeed bless you and multiply you.’

God, how I want this to be your answer to me! I love you and I adore you so much. But why am I still uncertain? I believe that You are speaking to me. I believe that You are smiling down upon me. But why is my spirit tormented? Why do I not seem to believe? Where is my faith when it counts the most?

I remember when I was very young and our religion teacher asked us to identify who among the apostles had some form of impact on us. Without really thinking, I felt that Thomas was the one who I could relate to. However, I did not know why. All I knew was that I seemed to be having a connection with the apostle Thomas. Later on, I found out what Thomas was most known for – Doubt.

Lord, am I a doubting Thomas? Help me to discern, help me to understand. I want to rejoice at your words. I want to claim my blessing! I want to already say thank you Lord!

I know that I am not worthy. But I also know that You are merciful.

Lord, grant me the grace to be able to understand Your will. And grant me the grace to fully and wholeheartedly submit to whatever Your decision may be.